The Man They Couldn't Hang
by sexyvanillatiger
Summary: "The Augments and the Federation have been at war for years, but the closing threat by the Klingons force the two sides into a shaky truce. To seal it, the Federation proposes a marriage between their youngest captain to the Augments leader. To Kirk's shock they accept." Prompt fill from the Star Trek Into Darkness Kink Meme. Khan/Kirk. Arranged marriage.
1. The Man They Couldn't Hang

Total loss. That's how Jim would describe it. A loss of words, a loss of feeling, mostly in his fingers where they grip the arms of his chair. Loss of sense of self. The news washes over him like the first frigid wave beneath a sunrise on the beach. Unwelcome and clinging with coldness to his very bones. He closes his eyes. He doesn't want to see the way Pike looks at him like he's losing a son. He doesn't want to see the almost smug satisfaction that Marcus holds in a very tight smile, winning a war by auctioning off the easiest playing piece. Jim rises but sways, unsteady. He can honestly say that he never saw this coming. How many of his own crew has Khan killed?

"Sir," he manages weakly, but only as an acknowledgement of this recent development. Jim is told that he's going to be a hero. He doesn't feel it. In all the times he's done something heroic, something worthy of garnering praise, he's felt it. There's a warmth to doing something that's right.

He doesn't feel this warmth.

All he feels is the coldness of Khan's eyes. Why Jim? Could it have been anybody else? He's heard that age has something to do with it. It doesn't make sense to him. Perhaps it would never make sense to him, but on that day, he doesn't know how he'll be able to speak looking into that cold gaze now owning him. He doesn't know what will happen to him after that. Surely contracts and treaties will be drawn to determine these things, but right now, he's still lost.

Losing himself, mostly. He doesn't see Khan at all. Is told that he won't until the day of the wedding.

And what manner of wedding will it be? Most nights, he sits at the edge of his bed and hangs his head between his shoulders, hands too weak to even cover his face as he wishes he could. He's been told he's a hero. If he could pull the words from the tongues of every person on Earth, he would. He would give them back and ask these people why they tell him this. Hasn't he suffered enough? Won't he suffer enough to come? He does not need them lionizing his woes. He's never been more scared in his life.

* * *

It was not Kirk's idea to offer his betrothal in exchange for peace. Khan can see it in the man's face when he is being shown pictures, being informed about the man that is Captain James T. Kirk. He can visibly see the difference between Jim pre-war and post-war. He won't pride himself over the obtrusive fact that Jim has definitely lost more of himself at the news of peace.

He recognizes the USS Enterprise more than he does her captain. He's never seen this man before in his life, though knowledge of an enemy so beneath the scope of his vengeance was never a priority.

All in all, something about Jim is pleasant. Whether it's the rawness of his eyes after recent events or the brightness of his smile in older photos, he can't say that he is dreading the wedding day. In the long hours spent bartering for pacifism with Starfleet officials, he finds himself idly wondering what manner of ceremony it will be. Will Kirk look him in the eye? Khan, himself, certainly hasn't forgotten the sort of damage he's done to the Enterprise. He can't imagine that Kirk would have, either.

* * *

The end of the month comes according to Marcus' schedule. He seems to be turning the world on the tip of his finger. Every headline details his work in drawing the war to a close. Starfleet Headquarters has a snipping of the headline declaring official armistice framed. Jim gets used to it. Every day he feels a little bit less like himself and a little bit more like the man he may be after leaving his planet, leaving his friends and his mother and his home.

Leaving his position as Captain of the USS Enterprise.

It had been part of the treaty. He would go with Khan to the Augments' new home world, creating for himself a life at the side of their military leader Khan Noonien Singh. He would relieve himself of duty aboard the Enterprise, and then relinquish his U.S. citizenship. He didn't know what he had expected before the treaty had been drawn, but it hadn't been this.

He doesn't know if he'll ever be able to forgive the man to be his husband. Every single day, his shoulders weigh heavier with the burden he carries. The suit they bring him bears heavily around him, as well.

* * *

In the end, it's a very formal, plain ceremony. Performed in front of a judge who appears to have a very wide and powerful jurisdiction. Of course, Marcus would only accept the best and most official to get the job done.

Kirk does not, in fact, look at him. He always keeps his gaze a little bit off kilter, somewhere beyond where Khan can follow but always pointedly away from his own eyes. He accepts it for what it is and tries to be polite. This is the end of a warring era, one that he had not been sure the children of his generation would see. The fact that this young man before him, fighting against him on their wedding day, this young man is the keeper of the peace, is astounding to him.

He expects neither acceptance nor understanding. He makes judgments based on Kirk's age and is surprised when they enter the Captain's quarters aboard Khan's ship without one physical altercation, or even a bit of a dispute between them. For all of the mean the man has looked since the service, Kirk hasn't spoken a word since he publicly accepted their marriage, and while it's not what Khan expected, he isn't surprised.

He is saddened, though. He tugs Jim's tie away from his neck and settles a hand on his shoulder, wishing that the terms could have been lighter. Nothing would make this more worth it than to feel like they had done something good here. "I am sorry for what you have lost in this," he hears himself saying, but he knows that he would say more if he had any real control of himself right now. Instead, he wipes the tears from Jim's cheeks as they fall and gambles on a kiss, winning a shaky response that he takes as Jim's attempt to make this into something good.

* * *

Khan is nothing of what he expected. He isn't quite sure that he had any ideas or expectations, but if he had, this does not align with any of them. He doesn't realize he's crying until Khan wipes away the tears, and when he's kissed, he kisses back because it's worth the sympathy. He's never enjoyed feeling sorry for himself and the consummation to take place tonight won't be ruined by the fact that he wishes he were anywhere else but here.

Their clothes leave them quickly, hands beneath buttons and fingers pushing at waistbands and collars and they meet, naked and cold in their bare skins. The kiss, which started out as kind and benign quickly becomes desperate to break things. Khan is much stronger than Kirk, he knew this about the man before he even knew he would be marrying him. He expected this to hurt more than it does.

Khan takes him to bed as a gentle giant would, hardly letting Jim bounce once against the mattress before he is pinned to it and warmth blossoms in the parts of his wrists wrenched up over his head by his partner. He moans involuntarily and assumes that this will set the course for the rest of the night.

When Khan takes him, it's exactly as he's come to expect it from knowing the man for one night. This is the man who never wanted a war. He wanted his family, and it sickens Jim to think of it. Who started it? He'd been so young when it began. He's older now, wiser, and yet he finds himself with his legs hiked up on Khan's hips, spreading himself open for this man who makes their marriage real. Shouldn't he have been wiser than to end up here?

Khan enters into him like plunging into the ocean: hardly prepared for the storm that follows.

* * *

The moment that makes this night most worth it is that Jim comes back for a little while. Not the Jim that had said I do in the ceremony or the Jim who had allowed himself to be led to these quarters, and certainly not the Jim who had stood in his arms and mourned the loss of his old life. That life returns to the young man in his arms and it makes Khan hurt.

Physically. The boy bites hard and scratches deep and Khan _feels_ it. He's never been so exhilarated as to get something like this from such an unexpected circumstance. He almost lets himself go, almost lets himself be tricked into thinking that Kirk can take all that he has to give, but he stops himself when he looks up into those eyes.

Kirk finally meets his gaze and he sees all of the sadness there. All of the gravity that comes from being an entire world's pawn, offered up to the opposite side of the board for some reprieve. There's a storm in Jim Kirk. He fights the way he did in battle: unmistakable.

He finds release in this man, biting a mark into his shoulder that is less formal than he feels is appropriate for the situation, but despite the outdatedness of the condition of their marriage, Khan considers Kirk to be his husband and decides as he's sinking his teeth in that he can do as he pleases with the man he is to spend the rest of his life with.

Kirk takes it in stride, almost seeming to welcome it. He turns his head to the side and fists one hand in Khan's hair. Pulls him closer. Khan hopes that this is how they sleep tonight.

* * *

And Kirk can feel it. He will allow it, though he is not confident in his abilities to sleep tonight. He finds himself exhausted after his orgasm, but he has been exhausted for weeks anticipating this night. When Khan pulls out of him, they lock gazes and Kirk could almost forgive him.


	2. Reveal Themselves One Star at a Time

Earth gets the worst of the Klingon fury. Understandable; most nations avoid conflict with the Augments. It doesn't make watching his old crew suffer battle after draining, lengthy battle any easier. Communication with his friends is becoming more sparse and sporadic as the days wear on. He's never been more weary in his life. Knows he would be happier in battle by their sides. They just closed a war. They didn't deserve this.

Most nights, Khan is gentle with him, treating him like little girls must treat brand new stuffed animals, and the analogy makes him wonder if there will come a day when Khan's treatment of him will roughen proportionally to the wear he undergoes. He knows that there are rings under his eyes regardless of how late he sleeps and his skin is pale despite the abundance of radiant sunlight on this new planet. He knows that he makes more eye contact with the floor than he does his husband, but it _hurts_ to know that Khan sees him as frail.

He takes great pleasure in their conversation. Some nights they play chess. Some nights, Khan lets him win. They eat in solitude and live only slightly more modest than Jim expected in a simple two-bedroom home with a backyard that reminds him of his childhood. He takes great pleasure in these things. He has yet to find happiness.

Three months into the Kling-Earth war, the Enterprise makes headlines. Khan reads the article over his trembling shoulder. He's finding it hard to hold in tears, and when Khan takes the tablet out of his grasp to set it aside, he can't choke back a sob.

"It's not lost. They just haven't found her yet."

* * *

Khan spends most of his days talking with politicians and leaders. This new government should be perfect, its officials considered, but nothing passes through so many opinions without holdup in any democratic setup. He brings his finest military officers into negotiations, hypotheticals and predictions. Most mornings, Kirk will hold onto him before letting him leave for the day. He'll sit with his lover on the bed, pleading him to go back to sleep.

He's lost weight since he came here. Khan never meant to waste away the youngest Captain in Starfleet. He thought that he could provide for him. It was his mistake in thinking Jim wanted to be provided for.

Which is why he is here, putting forth propositions that end with the stone faces of mean senators and representatives who don't see the worth in it. It's not lives that it will cost. It's money. And time. And things that senators and representatives don't like to spend.

But every day, he comes in, pleading with the government to come to Earth's aid. It's what Jim would want.

* * *

They get a dog in lieu of adopting children. Khan says that it's not their job to create a lineage and it's not the reason the treaty was made, but Jim knows that it's really because Khan sees him as unfit for the role of a parent. He knows it's true. They adopt a dog because Khan is tired of leaving Jim at home alone all day. They name the dog Bones on accident.

It's the first time Jim laughs in a long time when he realizes it. It almost cycles around when he catches the genuine happiness in Khan's face, something he's slowly coming to recognize when he sees it, and the joy wells inside of him. He looks back down at the dog and wonders what Leonard would think. His smile dulls but doesn't fall, and he wonders if he'll ever be that happy again.

Just seeing it in that moment is enough for Khan to consider it a victory.

* * *

The senate doesn't so much approve of Khan's proposal as much as Earth catches wind of what he's doing and calls in for help. With the newfound peace on the line, Khan knows that the tides will swiftly turn to his favor, and he knows Kirk is suspicious of the newfound affection he shows his husband, but he can't help it. He's never before had to leave somebody like Jim behind to go to war.

* * *

When he gets home that night, he can hear the news playing in the next room over. He's quick in seeking out the source, because the news is never playing when he comes home. He comes home to a resounding quiet every night, but in this one, Jim is in front of the TV, head in his hands as a sweet-looking reporter informs him about the Senate's reply to Earth's distress calls. He takes a seat beside him and pulls him close.

"I'm going to find the Enterprise."

"Take me with you," Jim says before Khan finishes speaking. He sits there, holding his husband to his chest while working up the courage to say,

"No. I can't. It's now allowed."

"I can't," Jim starts, choking on the words and fisting tense fingers into his shirt. "This is what you've been," he fumbles, tripping on his tongue. "This is why you went in every day."

"Yes."

"_Khan_," he sobs, and it breaks Khan's heart. He wishes he knew how to make Jim happy. "Please take me with you."

It hurts him. If he could take Jim with him, he still wouldn't. He can't imagine a day where he would ever put this man in the line of fire again. Not like he is right now. What hurts worse is that Jim has no choice beyond his word. As a native of Earth, he is disqualified from enlisting in the Augments' forces. He has no say. No decision. Khan can see that this is new to Jim.

"With both Earth and us on the same side, the war will be over within no longer than a year."

"Please," Jim continues, somewhat calmed but still overflowing with emotion enough to inhibit his coherency. "Please, I can't lose you too."

* * *

They make love the night before he leaves. Jim lets him get close enough to kiss him, and it's sweet, the first taste of his love he takes. He goes in for another, sweeping his tongue across Jim's lips, sweeping his body open and pulling him in. Sinking into him, caressing his teeth and the roof of his mouth before retreating to lay kisses across his neck.

_May I_, he asks before taking because Jim always says yes. _Your leg_, he murmurs, pushing it out of the way and kissing Jim again when it curls around his thigh. He makes to prepare Jim, but his fingers are pushed away and that request, that...

"Just do it."

He almost doesn't, almost forces Jim to let Khan prepare him, but then Jim says it, _I want to feel it when you're gone_, and he lets himself go.

It's the first night he's put too much strength into their coupling. Jim, for his part, says nothing. He either feigns incoherency or legitimately loses the capacity for speech, and his open, maundering lips make him appear even more ravished, or maybe he really is.

When he comes, he does so saying Khan's name. It feels so good that he almost forgets to say Jim's in return.

* * *

Khan calls home as often as he can. It's not enough. Every time he calls, he has little news to report. There are very few casualties on the Augments' side. Ship damage is usually minimal.

And they still haven't found the Enterprise.

Jim takes a little longer to answer the phone every time he calls. The first night, he answered midway through the first ring. It was the best call they'd had. Jim had said that he missed him. The dog was doing well. Things were looking good to end soon.

One night, Khan retires from the bridge. He carries himself swiftly to his quarters. Calls Jim. Waits patiently, because he knows Jim will take his time in answering. He's used to this. What he's not used to is getting the voicemail. He hangs up and calls again, hoping for something else and getting the same.

He calls the neighbors. They answer quickly and stay on the line as they enter into his home to find Jim not hurt or missing but fast asleep on the couch with Bones curled up against the small of his back. Khan feels the world drop out from underneath him, breaking under the weight of his relief. He holds his head up with one hand and thanks them, asking them to continue keeping an eye on him, and hangs up. He's about to melt down when he is summoned to the bridge. He almost drops to his knees at what he sees when he gets there.

* * *

"I'm bringing you to Earth. Just for a few days while we finish off the war. The governments are all working on negotiations, and the most recent battle ended a few nights ago. Will you come?"

Jim is quiet for a moment before answering. "Will you be there?"

"Less than a day after you arrive."

"Of course I'll come."

* * *

"I have something I wish to show you."

Jim hasn't let go of him since he came to pick him up. It's obvious he thought that he and Khan would take immediately to the bed, but Khan knows better. He knows what will really make Jim happy, truly happy. As happy as the man he was before their marriage.

Khan pushes the door to their room open, revealing themselves to the hallway. "Capt—...Jim."

Khan wishes that he could bring Kirk this happiness himself, but he can't contain a smile when Jim realizes who is calling him. Spock looks surprised and somewhat unimpressed as he always does, but when Jim lurches into an embrace, he returns it. He looks like he's about to say something when the rest of the crew steps forward, and he turns to Khan.

"You found them..."

And Khan can only barely see him amongst the huddle of Enterprise crewmen. He can hear laughter and smell tears and is happy for his husband in this moment. These men and women may not trust him completely—and he certainly does not expect them to—but he cannot thank them enough for their willingness to come with him to see Kirk.

* * *

Bones finds the dog's name very amusing.

* * *

Jim comes home from drinking with the old crew late. Khan is still up, waiting for him, exhausted but refusing to go to bed without his lover. When he stands and finds him in his embrace, he's surprised to see that Jim isn't drunk. It's late enough, but Khan tells him, "You could have stayed out later."

"Everyone was tired." He pushes his face into Khan's neck. "I was, too."

Khan holds him close. Undresses him and lowers him beneath the sheets, joining him shortly after. He looks into Jim's eyes and asks him, "If you had a choice, would you stay here?"

Kirk looks at him like he didn't hear the question, though Khan knows that he did. He waits patiently as Jim's mouth feels out the words he needs to say, and his heart almost beats its way out of his chest when Jim says, "No." He doesn't know what to say, and he's worried that his stunned silence is coming across as cold.

He comforts himself in the thought that he should know his husband well enough by now to know that Kirk can read him, and that's exactly what he does when he climbs on top of Khan and takes his face into his hands. Kisses him gentle. "I miss home so much," he begins, voice bordering on unstable. "Every day I think of the people I love who I had to leave behind." He rises just enough to rest his forehead against Khan's, touch noses, a quick press of lips before he continues, looking him straight in the eye as he does so. "And every day, the things you do make it easier and easier to want to let go of the past. Every single day I'm with you, you make me happier. I know it doesn't seem like it...," and he pauses here, and Khan sees difficulty in his expression, "but I love you. And I won't leave you until you give up on me."

Khan almost hurts him when he hugs Jim close to his body.


End file.
